Day 30, I am so much stronger than I was 30 days ago! Today the doctors turned down my vent to only work at 10% and I am doing the rest. They have said they are going to give me a chance to breath on my own, hopefully Wednesday! They also are giving me some medicine to help my lungs with inflammation and irritation from being on the ventilator. My blood work is continuing to come back within the norman levels, so no blood transfusion needed this last week. I am now eating 16ML (1 ounce) every 3 hours and my fortifier helps me get 24 calories a feeding instead of just 20. I was also able to get a new breathing tube on Friday night so that the tube doesn’t get infected. I started getting some vitamins in my feeding tube, things like extra sodium and iron. This helps my little body to continue to grow and maintain just like if I were inside my moms stomach still. Crazy to think I should still have another 12 weeks to grow before my original due date. Instead, I will celebrate 1 month of being alive on Tuesday! I am currently weighing in at 820 grams or 1 pound and 13 ounces, I had a steady 20 gram gain 2 days in a row. Mom and Dad are hoping that trend continues as I am so close to that 2 pound mark.
As some of you go to our church, you too may have learned the hebrew word Kavanah today. I was compelled to look into this word more and it is fascinated to me because it relates to our story and what we are currently facing with Joseph. The word according to wikipedia literally means “intention” or “sincere feelings”, direction of the heart. Our heart the past year and continuing this past week has been intentionally and sincerely praying for this baby boy we had not meet and now we are trying to keep alive. Kavanah is about “your state of mind and heart, his or her sincerity, devotion and emotional absorption during prayers.” I would hope that our emotional absorption during our prayers this week would not only be for Joseph to thrive and continue to weave his story of healing and miracles but it would be for those babies who are not getting this chance. The babies who do not have families, who are still waiting in the hospital for someone to love them. Our sincere hearts should be for those who do not have a place to call home because others are forcing them from it. Our prayers should be with devotion for the marginalized and ones who live right next to us that are being persecuted. This week pray like the Jewish did, with emotional absorption and a devout heart, to our one true maker that we can depend and rely on through each and every day.
