Laying Down Our Fears

“When God challenges us to lay something down. It is always because he has something better for us.” -Christine Cane

It is hard in the moment to realize that God has a bigger and better plan for your life when you can’t see it. These moments define our lives and those around us. If we take these moments and run instead of charging forward then we will miss the beauty of what is beyond the struggle. In the midst of fear our hearts are turned to pure trust. It is in these moments that God shows his face and lends his hand to walk with you through the unknown. How cool is it that he cares enough for us , the sinner, to push us past our known limits just to reach that unimaginable place.

As humans we want to know it all and know it now! We have learned through the adoption process and now the NICU, that not only will we not know anything, but it is for sure not going to be immediate. The waiting is treacherous and draining, when you try and forget it, it comes back twofold. The “No’s” or the “they have chosen another family” come often and quickly, you learn to move on and try and become numb. When Joseph was literally placed in our lap all of the unknown of adoption went away and we saw over the mountain we were trusting God to lead us over. Josephs face was all we needed, his tiny fingers and toes, he was our son and he was worth all the waiting.

Now as we are continuing to wade through the up’s and down’s of the NICU life we are constantly reminded of the path God has brought us down. The challenges we faced and what we laid down to receive this wonderful gift! We laid down emotions, feelings, and our own agendas. Kirby and I were both terrified of the unknowns of this whole process but each hurdle we crossed and each rung we climbed up the ladder God showed his face and lent his hand to keep us afloat. His love is so UNBELIEVABLE! This miracle baby of ours is THRIVING!

Today, Joseph passed his first of many eye exams! What a wonderful testament to our God. They also lowered his vapotherm to 23%, his lungs are getting so strong! He started occupational therapy this week and he is in heaven, he loves to be messaged. They also are compressing his joints in certain spots so that the bones will grow stronger. The next step for him is to be moved to nasal cannula and off of the vapotherm. He is currently 1180 grams, when he reaches 1500 grams they will start dressing and swaddling him. This will help him to learn to regulate his body temperature. At 34 weeks (he is almost 32 weeks) they will start trying to bottle feed him, babies do not have a suck swallow reflex until the 34 week mark. At 4 pounds they will move him to an open crib instead of his isolate. BIG BIG things happening in the next 6-8 weeks. Continued prayers for each step to breeze by us without any complications. We are so ready to have this sweet baby home with us and the girls to be able to love on him daily!