Love at First Sight

 

    “Cast all you anxiety on him because he cares for you!”

 1st Peter 5:7

Today, Kirby and I walked into a hospital and met our baby boy. Was it anything like I had it pictured in my head from when we started the adoption process almost a year ago? No! I can assure you I never imagined walking into a NICU room staring through glass looking at a 1.9 pound baby but was it amazing, yes! What a plan God had laid out for us. All of those no’s that led us to that room, were all his plan. All the connections we made to led us to that baby, was his plan. When we thought it was never going to happen, it happened in the most surreal way. Even though things may not always seem to be going in the right direction, he had his hand in every step. God did not lead us through all these doors to have them shut in our face in the end! Going through the process has allowed us to now have the strength and capacity in out hearts to love little Joseph like we could have never loved him in the beginning of last year.
Joseph continues to remain stable and we are now allowed to go in and out to see him whenever we like! When we arrived at the NICU we told the nurse his new name so they could put on his bed. They had picked Zach as his name when he was born. We told her that we had picked the name Joseph Daniel. She said well that is funny because we had picked Zachary Daniel! What a small and unbelievable world God has put us in. Everything is meant to be, we are meant to be this sweet boys family! His brain bleed continues to maintain at a level 2 which is very normal and expected.We did have a miscommunication through the nurse then the lawyer then to us on how much he is eating. He is actually eating 3ml every 3 hours not 3 ounces. This makes much more since! They will continue to increase his milk intake by a ML a day as long as he is tolerating the increase. The number one prayer at this point is that he counties to tolerate his increased feeding and he grows!! The bigger he is the stronger he will become. The nurses now also have my direct number so we will get updates directly from them daily.
We were not able to touch him today. They only move him/touch him every 3 hours because the do not want to stimulate him anymore than necessary. When he is stimulated it makes his oxygen levels drop. His skin is also still thin and he would rather not be touched, unlike a newborn baby. As he grows we will be able to touch and eventually hold him. What I saw today in that little bed was how amazing our God truly is. This tiny baby has fingernails, eyelashes, calf and bicep muscles, the longest fingers and cutest little feet! He is a tiny little person! That God can create such a miracle overwhelms me! I am so grateful to be in this little miracles life and I cannot wait until I finally can hold his precious little body!